Body Acceptance at 32

A couple of weeks ago, I shared with all of you my struggles I’ve had over the last couple of years with Exercise Bulimia. After identifying the problem and while working through those issues, I’ve found a new love and acceptance for myself.

In working on my issues, I began to ask some questions:

  • How much longer am I going to be focused on losing weight? 

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As long as I can remember, my weight has been something I’ve been fearful of. I can AT LEAST remember back to 5th grade and feeling like I was “fatter” than my friends and hating myself for it. How much longer am I going to be focused on losing weight? No matter how big or how small I’ve been, I’ve ALWAYS wanted to lose just a little bit more…

  • I understand that I’m not going to look like I’m in my 20’s forever, so at what point do I decide to let all that go? At what age does that happen?
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Me, 28 Years Old – Mom, 63 Years Old

When I thought about my mother, my grandmother, both beautiful women…at some point I realized that it’s a natural part of progression in life to gain some weight, to look different. I realized my 70 year old body is NOT going to look like my 20 year old body.. It’s just not. And I knew that I was okay with that… but the question was… At what age does that happen? At what age do I decide that I’m going to be okay with my changing body? It’s not like overnight it’s going to go from 25 year old body to 70 year old body – no. It will be a natural progression in which my body will change slowly over time.

  • A third of my life has passed. How much of my life have I missed out on because of weight concerns?
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Community Choir – 2013

I have not been on a beach vacation since I was in 5th grade. I have missed out on swimming with friends. I have missed out on social dinners because I didn’t want to be tempted. I have skipped birthday parties, barbecues and family reunions. Even the events I have attended, I’ve not always been there to fully enjoy the experience. I’ve stressed over Thanksgiving turkey meals, cried about Christmas cookies and given away Valentine’s day chocolates from my husband. I’ve missed out on playing the piano, singing in the choir and other community activities because of tight training plans. A third of my life has passed and it’s been wonderful, but there’s also been a LOT that I have missed. How much MORE of my life am I willing to miss because of weight concerns?

  • At this point in my life, what is MOST important? Where does my weight fit into that paradigm?
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When I think about my life as a wheel, and each spoke of that wheel represents a part of my life, I want that wheel to be BALANCED. And when I asked myself just how much of my wheel has been impacted by my weight worry, then I didn’t like what I saw… The most important aspects of my life are my family, friends, work/career, personal development (reading, classes, hobby’s, writing, etc.), my marriage and my health (not in that order). To place MORE emphasis on my outward appearance and my weight also translated that I was placing LESS on the areas of my life that mean MORE to me. Why would I spend MORE time on something that means LESS to me than other areas of my life?

When have I done ENOUGH?

If anything, worrying about weight and having the perfect body has done very little for me. A pursuit to lose weight constantly left me tired, exhausted and feeling like a failure every day that I didn’t achieve a certain number on the scales.  I wanted my life to be more than that. I am more than a number and there is a LOT more to my life and the people in it.

At 32 years old, I choose to love myself for more than just the way I look and the number on the scales. I KNOW the people in my life who love me, love me for everything BUT the number on the scales – so why shouldn’t I? 

I am a runner. But I am also a wife, a daughter, a book club member, a community citizen, lover of shopping, concert attender, explorer of new places, best friend, puppy parent, business owner, addictions counselor, sister, aunt, wannabe choir member, wannabe violin/piano player, wine lover, movie goer, creative cook, camper and pursuer of life in general.

There is WAY more to me than weight and appearance. And at 32 years old, I’m learning how to finally ACCEPT that and get to know EVERY part of me a little better!

What about you? If you find that your story is similar to mine, then I invite you to ask yourself the questions below:

  • How much longer am I going to be focused on losing weight? 
  • I understand that I’m not going to look like I’m in my 20’s forever, so at what point do I decide to let all that go? At what age does that happen?
  • How much of my life have I missed out on because of weight concerns?
  • At this point in my life, what is MOST important? Where does my weight fit into that paradigm?
  • When have I done ENOUGH?

 

And if this type of message resonates with you, then I also invite you to check out my program, Beat the Binge, opening later this Summer. We will be covering the topic of Body Image in depth and much more!

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